By 9pm I am usually falling into bed. Not in a tousling my hair into luxury sheets smiling like a sex kitten way. No more of an utterly exhausted, almost painful to get through the steps like teeth brushing before I can literally crawl into bed and pass out way.
If you consider that my 7 year old nearly always goes well over her 7.30 lights out and my tween doesn’t even head that way till 8.30-9, I’m either going to bed the same time as the kids or before the big one. So any couple time my hubby and I used to have after the kids are in bed is now lost due to my early nights.
I get up at 5 something 6 days a week to ride or run. Add a swim or gym session during the day a few days a week and I can feel fairly knackered most days. Add this to wrangling the kids, running the house and business and most days I’m feeling fairly stretched. My friend and I sadly joked last week that our once a week sleep in to 6am is a pure luxury! Bring on Friday mornings I say.
I get home from training by 7.30am in time for Craig to get dressed and head to work. By the time we both finish work, get the girls to Tae Kwon Do, get dinner organised, homework, Craig goes to the gym, its bath-dinner-kitchen-bed time and I am counting the minutes till I can close my eyes -(that’s posh for pass out).
I feel we can go days without a real conversation. If I have to go to an evening meeting or client we have no chance. I’m sure many couples feel like this sometimes.
This morning I woke just before the alarm and Craig snuggled in for a cuddle. Our relationship started in Townsville, so we are not big on bed snuggles. It’s too hot there to snuggle so we are fairly ingrained to sleep on our respective sides of the bed and avoid all extra warmth. But this morning was nice. He caressed me as if to say hello and remind me he was there. I knew I had to get up to ride, I had set my alarm to ride. I knew I had articles to write and sessions to plan but my husband was calling me through his touch. I almost got a bit annoyed and thats when I caught myself thinking ‘I set my alarm to train not to do this’. Then I realised. If not now, when? Given how busy we were with life, how disconnected we could get, when was a good time. Maybe connecting should be something I do set the alarm for sometimes. I knew there was rarely a minute anywhere else in the day once it began.
I shut my eyes and imagined myself nailing boards over all the windows that were letting the days thoughts and responsibilities in. The voices telling me I had to ride, I needed to email my VA, I had to send my book to A, B, C, worrying about how rude a friend had been the day before… You get the idea. But out came the hammer and nails and up went the boards. I was giving all of my thoughts and my present to this beautiful man who loved me. Why is it so hard to do that sometimes? But I was determined. Bang, bang, bang, up went the boards.
Yes I had a half-ironman race coming up that I needed to train for. Yes I needed to stay on track and get it done. Yes there was truckloads of work to be done on the book leveraging and building the new product. But in that moment the most important work I could do was to work on connecting with this beautiful man. This man that has stood by me, is the father to my beautiful children, who supports me through thick and thin, this bicycle widower who happily minds the kids for hours and hours each weekend morning while I am out getting the km’s done, who picks up the slack when I get home exhausted from riding and have an ‘Athletes nap’ in the afternoon, who rarely if ever complains about any of the above, and who after 16 years still adores me. Nothing was more important than him, reconnecting and reminding us both what is really important in life.